Captain and founder of this great institution. Taylor is a very good golfer who hits the ball a mile but seems almost incapable of winning a match at the Shankers. Bogeyman Mike Constantine could be 8 down after 9 and still beat leave Taylor crying into his pint at the 19th. Nevertheless, his strategic mind and motivational skills are central to Celt fortunes. His advice to fellow players (“keep going”, “support you partner”, “it’s never over until it’s over” etc) has helped Celts to snatch points where all seemed lost.

Taylor is meticulous in his duties as Celt captain (he kept a spreadsheet of every chip and slice from Cork 2006) and is equally thorough in his post-game celebrations.

Organiser of the Shankers 2007 competition in Scotland, the birthplace of the magical game, Nolan has proved himself a priceless asset to the Celts. Currently sporting a Nike driver with a head similar in size and shape to that of a water melon, he brings vast experience to the team. Nolan has played since a school lad on the courses around Aberdeenshire, where his father famously knocked out a pheasant with his putter for clucking too loud in the undergrowth.

Cocker is well known for his patient and quiet temperament, however with a few wife beaters inside him there lives a different animal. Nerves of steel and not a yip in sight – England beware.

The Celtic king of psychological warfare. Bell has a collection of improve-your-swing videos that rivals Anderson’s porn library. He thrives on the one-to-one battle and particularly enjoys putting one over on Paddy and Trevyn. Words are part of his arsenal as is sowing self-doubt in the mind of the enemy.

Bell is one of the Celts’ low handicappers, though he will admit his game can be erratic. At his best he is a machine. He beat Mike Constantine without strokes one year then gave Bri his first Shankers points the next. Look out for his bizarre putting style. Fundamentally, Bell is a confidence player. If he starts well, the point is probably in the bag.

The salesman. Channon senior is a recent addition to the Celt team. Having previously dismissed golf as a game for pensioners in unfashionable trousers, he has since come around to its joys with a vengance. Before each year’s event he is the one peppering your email in-box with offers for luminous golf balls, satellite tracking devices, the driver shoe, etc, etc.

Etiquette is still shaky. Expect to see him taking practice swings in the bunker and conference calls while opponents putt. His enthusiasm is boundless, however, and, like his brother, he is improving fast.

Bandito. The ladies favourite. Channon ‘Giovanni’ junior is the young pup of the Celt side. Despite only learning to play shortly before Cornwall 2006, he has improved quickly and brought his share of points to the Celtic cause. Often concerned more with hair gel or choice of sunglasses for the day's round rather than match strategy, opponents are frequently heard whining about his handicap after the round.

Has marriage tamed him? Watch for an intriguing battle of wills when Runce tries to make him down 4 pints of lager. Watch out for those weirdly shaped arms.

Team Celt’s Irish leprechaun. The joker in the pack. There’s always time for the craic and when are we having the next Guinness? Fiercely patriotic and always hungry for a win, Diarmuid sports a spanking new set of Callaway’s imported direct from Mr Migu in downtown Shanghai. Whether this has any impact on Diarmuid’s higher than average handicap is anyone’s guess.

It is widely speculated that Diarmuid’s hatred for the English runs so deep that he recently uprooted himself and the wife from their delightful Royal Berkshire detached home for a shed in County Cork with no electricity or running water. Just the sort of mad hatter that Team Celt need onboard their slaughter wagon.

The Danish warrior has used his ancestral links to qualify for a place in Team Celt. Around 18 holes he’s as slippery as an 8-pack of rindless, unsmoked Danish best. Karsten has the uncanny ability of dislocating both shoulders through the full motion of his golf swing; it has to be seen to be believed.

The man speaks with the tongue of an Englishman and indeed he was approached by the scouser shark Houghton requesting a swap to Team England for 2008 but no, Karsten showed his Celtish metal when he told Tim that he’d rather fall on his putter than play for the nancy boys in white. He’s a grafter on the course and a very good, highly motivating playing partner.

All the gear, no idea. Funny but a bit unfair as Anderson has proved to be more than a clothes horse for the latest in tartan trousers. This core Celt player isn’t likely to miss a Shankers (or any piss-up of significance) in his lifetime. He will skive off work to put in serious practice around East Sussex each year and has, as a consequence, improved markedly over his short golfing career.

Anderson is now one of the Celts steadiest players. He had a spell in care after his notorious collapse on the 18th at St Mellion led to a mental breakdown. But, finding previously unknown reserves of inner strength, he bounced back and emerged last year as one of the Celts’ top performers.

Off the fairway Anderson is a serious drinker. It goes without saying that he will be there at the end of the night, probably baring his arse in a kebab house.

Large in stature and character both on and off the golf course, Jim (aka Jimbo, Rik) has an average handicap producing golf skills that vary in direct proportion to his alcohol intake the previous evening. He is well known for a fiery temper under pressure and the English that have played against him will be well versed with his jibes and taunts such as “I bet you a tenner/bottle of whiskey/2 acres of land that you don’t sink this 15 foot putt!” during the round when he’s up.

Absent for Shankers 2007, Jim was much missed and the blame for Team Celt’s home loss sits squarely on his shoulders... There is pressure for Jim to redeem himself in 2008.

An experienced golfer, Graham has played the game since a kid and also originates from Aberdeenshire. There must be something in the water up there to produce so many high class golfers. Graham is a useful golfing partner to have around when your game is suffering and a wee morale boost is required; encouragement is always available by the bucket load. Very critical of his own game and competitive to the end; a true Celt.

Graham was last seen attempting to mount a horse at 2am on Ayr seafront during Shankers 2007. Maybe too much Buckfast Tonic Wine?

The Team Celt social animal. Runc [runse] is a demon off the course and some might say this is where his major strengths lie - a force to be reckoned with in the bar room. The golf: Runc only recently took up the game and joined Team Celt in 2007 having thrown himself into practice sessions and purchasing a new set of clubs having relieved himself of one of his club heads at a driving range in his home town of Blackpool.

There are rumours that he has constructed an ultra modern putter using the latest innovative technology that will snap Team England like a twig. A native Scot and master of mechanics, Runc brings a multitude of skills to the team.

Andy joins The Celts for his inaugural Shankers competition in 2010. Whilst Cooney has undoubted skills on the links, his performance can be directly linked to alcohol consumption. A stylish all round game, with no apparent weaknesses, notably enhanced with his pure ball-strikiing ability . Stamina may be more questionable than his 9 handicap, especially when factoring in huge skites followed with early tee-off times. Likely to strike early on in a matchplay tussle then hang on down the home straight whilst thoughts turn to getting back to his scratcher. Hopefull Lucozade will be available in the Pro-shop, this quadrathalon veteran is certainly not sponsored by Tennents.

Team Celt welcomes its latest new blood, ready and willing to assist in grappling points from Team England.

The Welsh Dragon. Marvo the Magician. The friendly Taff. Shane, also sometimes affectionately known as Shazza is Team Celt’s back stop. His unmistakeable ‘batsman style’ stance, swing and insatiable appetite for the competitive game brings a major advantage to the team.

Winner of more points than any other Team Celt player over 3 years he has been tarred as the Celtic Bandit, were it not for the odd 120+ round he delivers. If you see a man wearing a polo shirt with a wolf on the left breast levitating across the fairway then don’t call for a psychiatrist. Fear not! You are playing a four ball with Shane Stone.

'Wallachy' has stepped up to the plate last minute for the 2010 competition providing the Celts with full battle strength numbers. He brings all the usual pre-requisite qualities that are essential to be part of the team; not just the ability to hit a white ball. Don't get cornered in the pub, his chat is very poor!

Wallachy - always goes deep. Period. This sport-billy prides himself on his razor sharp competitive instincts on the course. Unlikely to be out driven on longest drive. Streakier than a prime rasher of bacon, his ability to (sometimes) conjure up shots of greatness couples hilariously with the odd mis-fire. Write this boy off at your peril. His prodigious skiting skills are priceless in weakening the opposition for the morning tee off and Ladbrokes have shut the book on him scoring the most "birdies" on tour.

Last seen in 2008 smashing the crap out of a golf simulator in Edinburgh, time will tell whether Wallachy can help bring the Shankers home for Team Celt.

No relation to Craig, Fraser first joined Team Celt for Shankers 2007 through his friendship with Mike “One Can” Constantine. There was initial suspicion that the Team England Captain had planted a mole within the Celt camp to ensure a home defeat, however Fraser proved otherwise.

He ranks as the best player in the tournament having previously played off scratch, but this can be a double edged sword that can lop a man’s head off if not on form. Originating from the West Coast of Scotland Fraser has proved a worthy adversary to face the English, both on the turf and in the bar room.

Newcomer to Team Celt in Shankers 2007, John is a thoroughbred Scot and brings precision hands from his profession to the game. A higher handicapper, but what he lacks in experience is made up for in camaraderie and team workmanship. A very useful team member, as all high scorers are – who can turn around matches when playing above form.

A famous but disastrous first hole tee shot on the final day in 2007 will stay with him all his days – with that famous ‘hand to head’ gesture before he had even finished his swing!

John exhibits a rare condition; the ability to fall asleep standing up almost anywhere... For the sake of Team Celt here’s hoping it’s not on the course.

Mark Perry joins the Shankers for the first time in 2011 playing for Team Celt. Mark brings the advantage of already knowing several team members – having been part of the junior golf, hardened drinking and fighting elite of Aberdeenshire. Still living in the North East of Scotland, Mark is one of the few Scots to remain on home turf.

Team Celt expects big things from this man who in appearance is short and unassuming, however lurking beneath is a cross between a ferret and a pitbull. Unleash this animal on the golf course and as you’d imagine he will tear the opposition apart - provided there are no cans lurking in his golf bag!

Mr Perry thrives on competition, enjoys the game immensely and will contribute more than his fair share on and off the course. Team Celt welcomes you on board Sparky and we look forward to seeing your points notched up on the board.

Team Celt will be delighted to hear they have signed up a natural sportsman and keen competitor. If this were football or pool we could expect to see the points flooding in.

Unfortunately Ewan hasn't been seen on a golf course since he lost his last 'Flame' ball back in about 2007. In those days clubs would regularly be chucked and litter bins uprooted (and rolled down hills) in drunken fits of golfing rage. We all know that golf can have this effect on otherwise sane men.

Let’s hope that Ewan has replenished his stock of Flames for Shankers 2012 and he manages to keep his cool during the ultimate test of golf/skiting.

Sean Kennedy is a legend in his spare time, a golfing machine with an intimate understanding of golfing psychology. Sean would rather out-think the competition than out-play or even, as in most instances, out-score them.

Prone to lapses into early 60’s karaoke when under pressure or under the influence, if you hear Sean humming “No Particular Place to Go” by Chuck Berry you will know he’s either been beaten or he’s hammered…

A fine addition to Team Celt in 2012 Sean will contribute much mental resilience if not technical prowess.